8:00 - arrive back home. Sweat has dried, and I opt to not take a shower before heading into Texarkana. Heck, I'm just gonna sweat again, so why bother?
8:02 - grab the Sam's Club and Albertson's shopping lists, load 4 (yes, 4) coolers into the van, lock the door, and go. DS and I are off for a shopping adventure. But first we stop for a special treat, an ICEE for DS. I know it's sugar. I know it's early in the morning, but I also know that we have a drive ahead of us, and I really want it to be quiet. Any mother would understand this "plan." I start his movie, he dons the headphones, sips his ICEE, (I have my Diet Coke) and we're off. 30 minutes into the drive, after it being so quiet and peaceful (from him, anyway, I was listening to the radio.) DS says "man, who pooped in here?" OMG! I laughed, giggled, giggled some more, then giggled because I was giggling so much...and finally replied, "no one! It's the paper mill!" Then I giggled some more, till my side cramped. I hope you have enjoyed a laugh so hard you know the cramp I'm talking about! Thank goodness we don't live in Ashdown. Nashville might smell like chicken factory sometimes, (Tyson plant in town) but a paper mill? That is downright nasty.
8:50 - arrive in Texarkana, however the construction has the highway and exits so jacked up I end up missing the lane I need to be in. I'm in one of those "off one ramp, drive on the left hand side of the bridge, and enter the on ramp, on the other side, headed back the direction I just came from" lanes. Are you kidding me? Ugh. Luckily I see a driveway into the mall parking lot, turn in there and finally am at the stoplight that will let me get to the intersection where I needed to be in the first place. (That is quick thinking on my part, eh?) I wait for the light to turn green, and finally get into the Albertson's parking lot. I park halfway into the parking lot, near a cart corral, so not only do I get a little more exercise, but I don't have to go far to return the cart when DS is already in the van.
9:05 - Enter the grocery store. (That took 15 minutes. Really. Really?) DS chooses one of those "Bean" cart things, so he can drive the car. However this is much larger than one of those little cars, and it's PINK. DS guesses that's ok. Although he isn't extremely happy. Considering it's either that cart or a regular cart, he decides he'll stick with the pink one. Whatever. I just have to pee. Let's go. He's not ready. Seriously DS, you don't have to buckle in, you're getting out in a second anyway. First stop, bathroom. DS and I both do our business, and we're off. Only to drive our cart right by the other entrance where he sees a RED car cart thingy. He must trade. Whatever will keep him happy. So we change carts (which isn't that easy if you've ever tried to manuever those things, let alone two of them in a small area with people walking in and out laughing at you), and we're off. We make it about 10 feet and I'll be danged if they don't have a cereal display with Lightning McQueen and Mater on it. Good grief! I just want to get my groceries! We skip the produce (I'll shop locally for that, because I don't want it to spoil in the 109 degree heat.) and on to boxed goods. We drive up and down the aisles, getting what is on the list and then some. We find about 1 million more marketing schemes with "Cars" characters, and after much coaxing, DS realizes he doesn't need them. Shew! Then it happens. He sees these ridiculously cheaply made 2 pack of motorcycles that he HAS to have. "No, DS, you don't need those. You have motorcycles at home. Yes, you have a green one. Yes, you have a small one. Yes, you have a medium sized one. You don't need those. Come on." We are almost finished when he sees that darn aisle with toys in it. I loved those as a kid! I hate them as a mom. DS jumps out of the car (cart), stands in the middle of the aisle and WHAILS that he NEEDS to show me something. He NEEDS to go there. "No, DS, you don't. We do not need any of those toys. Let's go." (You know what's coming next, right?) "NOOOOOOOOO! I WANT TO GO SEE THE TOYS! NOOOOOO! MOMMY, I WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" to which I replied, very calmly I might add, and that stern "don't mess with momma: look on my face... "DS, you can choose to come walk next to me and hold on to the cart, or you can choose for me to buckle you into the seatbelt and you can't walk at all. Which would you prefer?" It took him about 2 seconds to come stand beside me and hold onto the cart. Good boy! (I like to think I impressed all those people who gathered to see what this kid was screaming about... you know the ones.... with my parenting technique.) We check out, I come in .88 under budget (yay me!) and someone offers to take my groceries to the van. WHAT? I've forgotten what that service is all about! I think I've found MY grocery store, even though it's 45 miles away from home... not because of the personal service (ok, that helps), but because since it's in Texas, food isn't taxed! As I mentioned earlier, I'll still by produce and perishables locally, but boxes and cans? Woot! Who knew grocery shopping could be (kinda) fun! It's all a challenge... and I love it! So Mr. Awesome cart boy finishes loading groceries in the van, we laugh about all the coolers...I come up with "Party in my van, 11:00!" (JUST kidding, people. About the party. Not about the joke I cracked.) Explain about Sam's Club, and he gets it. I get in my seat, start the van, and it's 10:38. While I realize that took longer than anticipated, I giggle at the fact that merely a week ago I'd just be getting around to showering, and look at EVERYTHING I've already done! I'm not finished yet, either!
10:45- park the van at Sam's Club. Here we go. Good thing they don't have those "Bean" carts, right? BUT... the do have those two kid in front with a buggy behind carts, to which DS balks at...(yes!) their regular carts (man I love those things! They're so big!) which I go to grab with DS holding onto my hand. All of the sudden, we're stopped. DS has put on his brakes because HE wants the flat loading cart. "So I can ride it like my scooter, Mommy!" "Absolutely not. Get in the cart. No, not the back. We have too much stuff to buy." So he's in, I show the lady my card, and we enter Sam's Club. I haven't decided if I like the smell of Sam's or not. It depends on the day. Most of the time, I love it. But sometimes the smell of those tires about knock you over. Especially when it's 109 outside. I won't go into all of the details of our trip to Sam's, because it was amazingly pleasant. DS was "the perfect child" so I have no funny stories to tell. We had such an enjoyable time together! Two full carts unloaded, stacked and packed into 4 coolers, the non-perishables neatly stacked into the back of the van (which is running with the A/C on for DS) I haul the two carts to the buggy corral, open my door, get in the van, and realize how disgustingly sweaty I am. Have I mentioned that it was 109 degrees?
12:48 - Two hours at Sam's? Hey, that's actually not bad considering loading time and waiting in line! We are on our way to Chick-Fil-A! I see a Diet Coke in my future!
1:00 - We have our Chick-Fil-A, and are now on the way to Starbucks. I LOVE LOVE LOVE their Toffee Nut syrup, and I buy it by the bottle. I think it's hilarious that people think I put alcohol in my coffee. But I quickly explain it's not! LOL~ So I'm eating my nuggets (yummy!!) and I pull up to pay. $7.95 for the ENTIRE bottle. That's cheaper than two Toffee Nut Lattes! Go, frugal me!
**Stay tuned for part 3 of Screams, Sighs and Giggles!** DS is hungry for lunch, and I'm tired of typing. Read me soon! ;-)
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