Obsessions

Ok, so I might be obsessed with a number of things. But honestly, I can't think of a single tangible "obsession" of mine that takes as much time as a true obsession should. Whatever that means. I like many different things, I like them more than other people might.... but I can't ever stay focused on one of my "obsessions" long enough to get anything accomplished. My mini obsessions include scrapbooking, crafting, making Scrapper paraphernalia, making bows for my DD, making lists, Facebook, email, painting, photography, did I mention crafting? You get my drift. Sure, I have those obsessions of making sure my DC (DBS-10, DD-5, DS-3), are all okay, as often as I can... when I hear a cough I throw on my mommy cape and feel their foreheads... {giggles...}..., I am obsessed with trying to make sure each meal has the four food groups (but fail more than I'd like to mention), I'm obsessed with trying to be the "perfect" mom and wife, but after many years of therapy I've realized that just isn't gonna happen. No ma'am, it's not gonna happen. So when I get that urge to be perfect.... I focus on something else. Thank goodness I can focus on something else, because I've been at the bottom. I've plunged so deep into depression with anxiety and panic attacks I thought I'd never come out. I've dealt with OCD. While I wasn't clinically diagnosed with OCD, I did fall onto the spectrum, or rather diagnosed with OCD "tendencies." Go figure, right? LOL... at least I can laugh about it now. (But when I think about how bad it actually was back then [4 years ago] I am amazed at how far I've come. How much I've grown in understanding Depression, Anxiety, and OCD. How thankful I am that I made it out of that awful pit, more than once, but at the same time realize how quickly I can plunge back in if I don't keep my "levels" in check.) I had the help of a WONDERFUL psychiatrist (who I finally, FINALLY, paid off in January 2011 because of a mis-communication with the insurance company), who prescribed medication to help me through those horrible times, who taught me what MY signs are that will lead into depression if I am not able to bring myself out of them, and so much more about life. Hey, obsessions can be fun (just ask my husband, who is obsessed with Star Wars), but they can also be dangerous. Funny how I use the term "obsession" more carefully now. People don't know how much that word can hurt, unless they have been at the bottom themselves. Shoot. This is such a tough topic to blog about, but if I have ANY reader that I can help at least get started with the right doctors and therapists to make them feel "human" again, I will feel successful. Someone helped me once, and she didn't know it at the time. Until I told her. We both had a good cry over it all, but she was the person that gave me the phone number. She was the one who started the ball rolling to find my happiness again. I've gone on to get the ball rolling for another friend of mine, in a "Pay it Forward" type of thing. But my work is not done. I felt the need to write this tonight. Maybe I can help someone out there by posting this, who knows. While this started out as a laughable, light post, it kinda took a serious turn, huh? Well, that's what life deals you sometimes. Let's roll with the punches! (A big thanks to my family and friends who stepped in when I needed you the most! Especially my momma and LB. This post is for you!) Cheers! (Hey, I'm happy now...so I MUST end on a happy note!) :-)